Movie rant #46

I watched part of Clerks on Comedy Central (of all places) and I didn't particularly like it any more. Sure, I was shocked that Comedy Central was broadcasting FUCK and SHIT and COCKSUCKER and DICK, but I was more shocked by how stilted and talky the script was. It's like Pulp Fiction -- way too long and incredibly talky. I could easily chop out at least 45 minutes from each movie without altering either substantially.

Sure, there are one or two laugh-out-loud funny parts from Clerks, including the Olaf Berzerker scene I keep forgetting about:

My love for you is like a rental truck -- BERZERKER!
Would you like some making fuck -- BERZERKER!!

Girl thinks sexy. Did he just say "making fuck"?

But that's about the end of the laughs. Most movies just don't stand the test of time.

Completely unrelated, I also had a surreal experience at a local fancy restaurant. As I was sitting at our table, a fellow who looked exactly like Rob Reiner showed up and sat in the table perpendicular to ours. He was eating dinner with another guy I vaguely recall as some minor independant actor, like from an episode of Greg the Bunny or something. Rob had his back facing me, literraly about two feet away. I swear this guy was Rob Reiner. It looked exactly like him with the bald head, puffy side hairs, huge, fat ass. Basically, your Santa-in-summer prototype.

But it was obvious when he talked and the way nobody reacted to him that it wasn't him. I firmly believe that my facial pattern recognition software is completely defective.