The Fall of the Evil Empire

I just got out of the meeting with the Russians. Nine months (or more) of Cold War ended in a few seconds. Nothing was heard but the hushed silence of mist disappearing.

It started with us saying, "We have a project plan. What do you think?"

They said, "We do not like the plan. We will shoot you with a bullet if you continue with this plan."

We said, "We have improved the plan, and we have a missile that can destroy you."

They said, "We have three missiles and we can destroy you and your sister at will."

We said, "The plan has been reorganised and analysed. We also have eight missiles that we are pointing at you."

They said, "We have twenty four missiles we are pointing at you, and we will launch them premptively if we must."

We said, "We have made a lot of changes to the plan. We have considered every angle you have brought up. We have spent four months retooling all our efforts to adjust. We also have eighty missiles we have assembled and tested. They are ready to fire."

They said, "Always cowboy American, running around saying 'Whooo hooo Yiippeee Gid Dee Up Mother Fawker.' We are not impressed. We will destroy you. We can fire 1000 missiles at a moment's notice. You will die."

We said, "We have now spent one year desiging and spec'ing the plan. We have tested it twenty times. We have one million missiles built and deployed at decentralised locations. We can destroy you one million times over. Here is four samples of our missiles. Please test them and see if they meet or exceed your specifications for your missiles."

They said, "Yah, you have missiles. We have no missiles. Just kidding. We do have some cardboard tubes and an aluminum cone, stuffed with pillows and ripped newspapers. We soaked it in Vodka in order to set it on fire. Your plan look good to us. All our base are belong to you."

That's it.