Tough being a pimp

Overheard today:

"It's tough being a pimp."
"It's tougher *not* being a pimp."
[laughs] "That's right. Try being a motherfuckin' ho!"

Pascalian Risk Curve

I've been creating this new idea for a curve that you can reference as the "Pascalian Risk Curve". It has up to six interesting inflection points and tries to plot a chart between preparation/planning/tuning and risk/reward/danger.

Start with the horizontal X-axis representing increasing "Planning". Now raise the vertical Y-axis representing increasing "Risk". The resulting plot lines with these constraints will usually give you a parabola shape. That is, with little planning, your risk of failure is high. With too much planning and tuning, your risk actually increases even more due to over planning and too much "futzing". Here is a default curve with some label points:

 ^
 |\              /
R| \            /
 |  \          /
i|   \        /
 |    \      /
s|     \    /
 |      \__/
k|
 |
 +-------------------->
      Planning
  1  2   3 4  5  6
1:  Fools go where angels dare to tread
2:  Keep It Simple Stupid
3:  Practice makes perfect
4:  A stich in time saves nine
5:  Don't fix it if it ain't broke
6:  Stop fucking with it moron

Some procedures and processes never get rid of the risk; no amount of planning and tuning can get rid of it. Take space flight:

 ^
 |
R|  |  i|   ---------------
 |
s|
 |
k|
 |
 +-------------------->
      Planning
  1  2   3 4  5  6
1:  Let's see how high we can launch ourselves
2:  It's OK, I have a prachute
3:  It's OK, we set the failsafe
4:  Let's see if this monkey survives
5:  Who cares about a little bit of foam?
6:  Houston, we have a problem

Some processes are actually tuned to be easy because all the work is done for you. Too much messing with it is very very bad:

 ^
 |
R|          /
 |         /
i|        /
 |       /
s|      /
 |     /
k|    /
 |---/
 +-------------------->
      Tuning
  1  2   3 4  5  6
1:  I can check the tire pressure myself
2:  I think I can change the oil myself
3:  What's that noise?
4:  What's this hose?
5:  I can chip my Honda and get 5 more HP
6:  I think I can remove the alternator

Or, for Microsoft Windows with the same curve as above:

1:  Hey, the mouse moves
2:  I can start MS Word
3:  What does this button do?
4:  I donwloaded a helper
5:  I don't need these files
6:  I'm going to clean up some unused registry entries

Survivor 27

I was watching part of Survivor Racist Beach last night. It was putrescent. The show is completely unwatchable. I think the show jumped the shark right about the time Tom danced with a feather in his ass. And that was, like, Suvivor 9 or something.

Thinking back on it, the signs were there. When Probst was asked about the upcoming season he kept referring to how interesting it was to "see new ways of making fire that we haven't seen before on Survivor". Now I realise that the potentially exciting five seconds of seeing fire as it's never been done before on this stupid show was THE MOST EXCITING PART OF THE WHOLE SEASON. In other words, if there was anything else more exciting about the show than watching some dullards start a FREAKING fire, Probst would have mentioned it.

The first episode involved the useless, worthless darkies who lost. The second episode involved the intentional loss of the challenge (which was almost won anyway, because the darkies tribe were so useless) to get rid of that fat gay kid. Bobbie, I think. Or was it Billie. Billie Bobbie.

I don't even know what last night's episode was about. Apparently, the salad days of "seeing fire made in ways that we haven't seen on Survivor" are over.