Cat sneezing

Our female cat started sneezing last night. Seriously, she is sneezing like a human. It's funny too, because this morning when I was feeding her, she bent down to eat and then paused, a funny look passed across her face, and then she bobbed her head up and sneezed. Then she rubbed her nose with her paw. Exactly like a human would.

I didn't know that cats could sneeze.

Betting

Betting on an outcome is a very instructive way to figure out the future. For example, will you be in a car accident tomorrow? No way. Want to wager on it? Hmmm. What if it is going to rain tomorrow? What if tomorrow is a Friday and you'll be driving late at night past a lot of bars just past closing time? What if you are not going to drive 20 miles to work, but instead you will stay home and make a quick trip to the grocery store?

All of these factors could weigh into a decision on how much you would be willing to wager and what kind of spread you will take on it. I often take bets on office events and project milestones. "I'll bet you 2 to 1 for a dollar we don't finish the project this year," "So and so won't last a year, he'll be fired or quit. Wanna bet?" Etc. I keep the betting money in my desk drawer, with neat notations on the bet and whose bet it was etc.

So today, I had this awkward exchange with one of the guys who works for me:

Me: Um, do you recall we made a bet?
Employee: Vaguely.
Me: It was 2 to 1 for a nickel. I put up 10 cents, you put up a nickel.
Employee: It doesn't sound familiar.
Me: Well, it has your name on it and the bet, see here? I don't have the parameters or the date.
Employee: It was probably the ***** project.
Me: Ah, yes. [smiling] How long ago was that?
Employee: Uh... It was... Yeah... Um...
Me: So you would say that I won the bet, yes? [smiling]
Employee: As usual, you asshole.
Me: So we're square, I'm going to take your five cents.
Employee: Ok.
Me: Would you like to make another bet, perhaps? Double-or-nothing?
Employee: I'm not really comfortable with that. Maybe later.

A finely tuned mind can make quite good bets on the future, especially if there is a monetary tie-in like a small wager.

Religion and mental illness

Believe nothing, no matter where you have read it, no matter who has said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

Buddha

The reason that I love this quote so much is because I truly believe that all religions that I have studied or had exposure to did not address the fundamental issue of human suffering. I was raised as a protestant Christian, and believe me, these people with whom I went to church every Sunday were some that I judged to be the most mentally ill people I have ever had exposure to.

I never once received a lesson in my Sunday Schools or sermons that taught me how to identify suffering, its causes, and how to get rid of it. Quite the opposite, in fact; I am certain that these religions do more harm for mental health than good. I recall attending so-called Sunday School to study how great God was when I was thinking the whole time, "I would like to jump out of that window if only I could fit through there and no one would stop me." There is no singular, magical method of removing human suffering, but if one can understand the causes and identify the patterns of it, the path to freedom is made clear.

No religion -- not one that I know of, including the "mystical" or "organised" forms of Buddhism, addresses the need to solve human suffering. I am referring to my own personal suffering, which was extreme and pronounced until I read the Zen and Buddha's teachings in my early 20's. My advice is to stop going to church or temple and sit and read. Quit your job, move out of your house, break up with your abusive partner or get a divorce. Then, sit and remove your suffering.

Do it now. Otherwise, stop yer whinin'.

Celebrity Citing #113

I stepped into the Gap this past Sunday and saw a tall stringy woman with a bulky vest jacket and her hair tucked up under a Maoist green communist cap. She turned to talk to a an older woman (whom I will assume was her mother or possibly her assistant or maid) and I recognised the face immediately as Uma Thurman. I've been wrong before, however, so I just watched as she (somewhat nervously) picked out clothing and walked back and forth between the main floor and the dressing room.

As I drew closer, I was able to hear her talk to her "alleged" mother and there was no mistaking that manly, raspy voice with a weird european lilt. Her face is much more angular and she is really tall in person. I made eye contact with her without really wanting to, but she gave me a quick, nervous smile and I returned it, only to be nice.

I wanted to tell her that her Japanese accent was pretty bad, but it was much better than that horrible Lucy Liu's. It's also not her fault that Kill Bill should have been one good volume instead of two really terrible volumes, neither of which, separately or together, is very watchable.

Adam Carrola

Paraphrased from the Adam Carrola show this morn (he has two products he pushes in "live" ad spots much like the late great Howard Stern - Quizno's™ subs and Brother™ P-touch® labelers):

Adam: Brother™ P-touch®. I love Brother™ P-touch®. You can use the outdoor labels that will withstand the elements. Why, the other day, I labeled a squirrel. Of course, he ran around in circles until he ran out of gas and died. And then a crow got him.

But then I labeled the crow! And a coyote got him.

But then I labeled the coyote! And a mountain lion - but you get the picture.

[other side talk with his sports guy whom I hate]

The ultimate labeling prey is man. That's the next thing I'm going to label.

That was some slightly, mildly amusing shit.

Rejection

Sent: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 3:44 PM
To: xyz
From: ^^^@google.com

Dear xyz

Thank you so much for your interest in Google and especially for taking the time to speak at length first with *** and then with ---. After careful consideration, we believe there is not currently a position on the Google.com ... team that aligns with your experience and skills.

We certainly hope that, in the future, a position at Google arises that will be a better fit. So we'll keep you in mind as we continue to grow, and we look forward to discussing future opportunities at Google with you.

Best regards,

^^^
Google Staffing



To: ^^^@google.com
From: xyz

Thanks once again for taking the time to speak with me. I certainly appreciate it and it was a great personal milestone for me to even be considered.

Sincerely,

xyz

Mega disaster

I love those mega disaster pseudo documentaries that show on National Geographic or Discovery Channel. Saturday I watched a rehashed, boiler-plate, worry-wart, pollyanna National Geographic special on (said in loud celestial tones, with echo and booms)

Mega Quake

It was regarding the four possible "unavoidable" dangers threatening Seattle during a megathrust earthquake. They are, for the record,

• Ground shake
• Liquefaction
• Landslide
• Tsunami

As each one was printed on the screen and stock footage of each was shown, I was in heaven. The endorphins were ripping through my brain and I was high as a kite. I was dancing with glee at how bad Seattle was going to get it. I've seen the stock footage a million times. The graphics depicting the city shaking were horrible. The narration was ominous and pretentious. But I was absolutely thrilled.

I always love to watch this destructive shit on TV. Some of my recent favourites:

Tsunami: don't call this a tidal wave. Make it large and destructive. Nothing less than 30 metres, please. I'm not interested in anything smaller.

Hurricane: level 5, please. Lots of damage and levee breaking.

Tornado: same as Hurricanes. Level 3 and 4 need not apply. Give me footage that is in the middle of the debris zone, not something shot from 4 miles away on a zoom. I watched a special on some idiot building a mini-tank in which he would drive into a tornado and film an IMAX movie. I say, good on you, mate. I'll watch you get a house dropped on you like they did to that cunny in the Wizard of Oz.

Super Volcano: not just a regular, ordinary volcano. I want a super volcano that is the size of Yellowstone park, that could potentially wipe us out like it did to some of the dinosaurs. I'd love nothing more than to sit on top of that caldera floor and feel the bad boy rumble for the few seconds before I disintigrate. That'd be hot.

Megathrust earthquake: No regular 5, 6 or 7 quakes, please. And no shallow, grinding shit. I want massive, peta-ton explosion sizes. Minimum entry for my excitement level is 8.5 and hopefully 9. Shake for minutes, not seconds, please. I love it!

Lhar: just the name evokes wonderful tingly sensation. "Lhar." "Lhar." It just rolls off the toungue, tasting delicious and scary. Lhar is not just a landslide. It's a fluid river of earth. It moves buildings, forests, bridges and it floats concrete. Rush on, old lhar. I love ye like ye were my own.

Pyroclastic cloud: hotter than the earth's core, as fast as the speed of sound. More deadly and destructive than lava and faster, too. What's not to love?

Comet, Asteroid or other Large Celestial Object: let's get something the size of California or Texas, and just go chuck that at the earth. None of this small size objects, like the size of a car or bus. Even something that's 7 miles by 1 mile by 1 mile isn't going to get my blood pumping. Give me a goddamned state in the black void of space hurtling at my head at 1 mega-metre per hour. That's some excellent stuff.

I'm so hot and bothered right now I need to go shake something off and smoke a tobacco stick.

Google second interview

The interview was totally brutal. It was worse than brutal, it was horrendous. It was absolutely horrible. But not the worst that I've experienced. The guy from Google starts out with:

Google: "How are you? Do you have some time to do the interview? It will take about 30 to 45 minutes."

Me: "I'm fine, I'm ready. Let's go."

Google: "Explain to me how path mtu discovery works."

I talked about DF (don't fragment) bits and the rest. I screw up and say the router will drop the packet silently. He grills me on it. I say I don't recall the correct sequence, but something like that. [I looked it up again. The router sends an ICMP 'can't fragment' packet.]

Google: "But why even have an MTU in the first place? Why can't we just send packets as large as we want?"

I talked about packet switching, router buffers, retransmission, routers getting tied up. I can tell I'm not getting anywhere on this one and he gives up.

Google: "What do you know about the 3-way handshake?"

I talked about syn, syn-ack, ack.

Google: "Why send the final ack packet?"

I talk about "that's how the RFC is written" :-P

Google: "Why can't the client just start sending data after receiving the syn-ack?"

I don't know. [I should have talked about the TCP state machine]

Google: "What are the file permission bits on a file that you know?"

I talked about read, write, execute, SUID.

Google: "How does SUID work?"

I talk about SUID.

Google: "What other flags are there?"

I remember vaguely the "t" bit on a directory and describe it.

Google: "What about the 't' flag applied to an executable?"

I don't know. [I did some research -- it's unused, but means 'text file' or something like that. I think the answer is that an executable file won't execute. I haven't tested it. I've never seen the 't' bit set on any file in 15 or 20 years.]

Google: "You mentioned inodes. What are those?"

I talk about inodes.

Google: "They're pointing to parts of the disk. What kind of information is stored on them?"

I talk about mod/access/create times. I talk about file permissions. I even remember reference counts for hard links.

Google: "Anything else?"

I can't think of anything. [I should look it up.]

Google: "If you are administering a system, and you think an intruder has broken into the system, what checks do you do?"

I talk about the file system integrity. A trusted 'ps' command to look for hidden processes. 'netstat' to show the network ports. Etc.

Google: "If you were an intruder and you knew that someone like yourself would check these things, how would you work around it?"

I talk about trying to name my executable 'bash' or even better 'httpd' to disguise my activities. I fail pretty miserably on this one. I never used a root kit.

I think I screwed the pooch really badly. Imagine what kind of people they hire if I can't get this position? I don't agree that these kinds of interviews work well and hire the correct people. But that could be sour grapes. :)

Cats and Evolution, part 2

In reference to my question on cats and fish, I have always wondered why cats enjoy seafood so much. How, pray tell, did they develop this taste?

In the 365 cats calendar, there is the following blurb on 3/9/2006.

Something's Fishy

Since fish is rarely part of a cat's diet in the wild, how did it become such a common ingredient in today's cat food? A possible reason is that during World War II meat was rationed, so manufacturers looked for a substitutde protein -- and the rest is history.

This is total and complete bullshit.

First, "a possible reason" is not a valid scientific point. I need facts, evidence, and proof. Do not supply possible reasons.

Second, how does the cat actually enjoy the taste of fish and crave it at all? That is the more pressing issue.

Third, this argument might, might, explain why cats in the US and its allies have fish and seafood elements in cat food. But how do you explain cats in other countries, like the japs and nazis, who have the same ingredients in cat food?

This question needs solving.

Lesbian "Wedding"

I got a fake-wedding invitation from one of my friends "who happens to be lesbian". It's not really a wedding, you understand, because that's not legal. I'm not particularly worried about gay and lesbian rights -- I don't give a fuck. But my good friend is worth a lot to me, so I have to be involved and become a pseudo activist. It's tiring to work up a sweat over the whole thing. We've been friends since at least 1988, so there's a lot of history there.

I'm conflicted because on the one hand I feel that two gay men going at it Brokeback style makes me sick to the bottom of my being. On the other hand, I love to watch a couple'a hottie fake lesbos start eatin' dessert and fingerin' and fistin' and rubbin' and lickin' all day. And to this day, I object to gay marriage on the grounds that Rosie O'Donnell is fucking ugly as shit, both from outside appearance and inside appearance and she should not be allowed to walk freely on this planet. Her girlfriend is kinda hot in that ugly real-lesbo butch way.

However, my two friends are the best people on the planet to me and I love both of them very much as if they were sisters. Or brothers. Or whatever the goddamned motherfuck. I love my two married gay friends!

So, yeah, I guess I have to allow that my two friends are wonderful and they mean the world to me, so that I want them to be just as happy as I am and have all the opportunities that I do. But goddamn it, just them! That's the line I'll draw.

It'll be a nice vacation anyway to get out of the house and stay at a resort for a weekend. See the sights, watch my friends stand up and pretend to get married. Relax, then go back home. Not bad for a weekend's work.

Google first interview

I did the phone interview and they asked three questions:

Google: What is the default signal for the kill command?
Me: 15, it's called TERM

Google: What is the number of hosts that can be addressed with a /17 network?
Me: Um, 32 minus 17 is uh... 19
Google: 15
Me: I meant 15, so it's 2^15
Google: Minus?
Me: Minus one. I mean two! 2^15-2
Google: What are the two you subtract?
Me: Network and broadcast.

Google: What are the three default data types in Perl?
Me: Scalar, array and um...
Me: um... I can't remember...
Me: um... I can picture it. You use curly braces. I forget the name...
Google: Do you want the answer?
Me: Yes.
Google: Hash.
Me: Of course. I knew that. I swear.
Google: Well, you got two out of three, so you can go to the next step which is a 45 minute technical phone interview.

Sinking rats

Yet another person here turned in their two week's notice. I need to get that started. I waited until March so that I could get an extra month's health insurance. I believe the company pays for the whole month so that if I quit today by the time they submit paperwork to the insurance company, and I sign up for Cobra, it would already be April. I have a phone interview with Google by applying for a position on Hotjobs so we'll see how that goes.

I had a phone interview with a company not far from home and I aced it. The guy on the phone basically said I was his top pick. It's no wonder, though, because the pay is slightly too low and would be a step back for me. It's the equivalent of going back to flip burgers. But hey -- I only need a stop-gap at this moment.

I am in between that point where I am going to jump off the cliff or be pushed. Either way, I've got my parachute on. But I'd rather jump at my own timing.

The Oscar™'s

I watched the Academy Awards® with some unfounded trepidation. The Academy Awards® are like some kind of asymptotic curve in which the show gets better and better each year that I have watched it, but even after all this continuous improvement, it still pretty much sucks really really badly.

It was a "clean" show (as in, "a clean fight") with no particularly long speeches and no particularly long, horrific dance numbers or memorial montages. But even in its relatively efficient form, it still runs a lengthy 3,5 hours. Clearly, we can do without the musical numbers. There is no sense in performing the soundtrack items. And the "film noir" sequence was the kind that makes you say, "huh?" Even more "huh?"-able was the inclusion of a clip from The Day After Tomorrow in the "memorable moments of impactful films" sequence. That movie was the absolute worst movie I've ever seen on cable, second only to, say, Independence Day.

Anyway, I got to bed at a decent hour (20:30) and didn't throw anything at the television all night. So I think it was "The Best Awards® Ever", at least until next year.