WSOP, part 1

After taking more than a year off, I have jumped back into the poker scene. July 4th weekend is a perfect time to start, considering the World Series of Poker® has just recently started.

Before that, though, I visited the Horseshoe to see what was going on. In a word, not a goddamned thing. Last year, only the final event was held in Binion's. This year, as I walked into the Horseshoe, there wasn't even anything so much as a paper sign to indicate the series event even existed.

Running over to the Rio (where it's held now that Harrah's bough the Horseshoe and the World Series of Poker® name), I looked in vain for the event. Walked all over the place, ducking and weaving, looking for the World Series. I saw some signs, but they never pointed anywhere substantive. I asked around and pit bosses pointed vaguely about. Finally, with some triangulation of directions and signs, I was able to discover a semi-hidden passage way toward the pool area and the conference centers. Walking about another 5 miles (no, seriously), I was able to finally!! get to the convention center where the event is held.

Outside the huge room, there were several vendors hawking stupid useless shit. There were the requisite short-shorts ass-cheek-showing and tied-shirt-belly-showing girls. I know this is a manly event, but please let women have some dignity who come to participate or watch the game. One scum-sucking guy was selling "program guides" that looked to me like free Card Player magazines for $10. Anyone who was stupid enough to stop and look at his wares was given the hard sell. And if they didn't want any, he would give them a "discount" if they were "playing".

Inside the huge room, the light was bright and the air was clear. It really is a wonderful thing to walk into a brightly lit poker room with hundreds of tables and thousands of players. I may be exaggerating the numbers, but it really brings a smile to your lips and a watering in your mouth. Pavlov should have done his experiments on poker players listing to the click/clack of poker chips.

I quickly moved over to the satellite tables. I am considered somewhat of a "satellite specialist" and in previous years, used to make a large amount of cash feeding on the single-table tournaments and selling tournament chips. I used to harbour the quaint notion that I could one day win the main event; easily beating 6 or 8 hundred players. I remember thinking, "I need to be really good to beat 'The Spainard'", "I could whoop that sorry gay-ass Varkonyi", "I probably couldn't have called that maniac Moneymaker either", and "I'm not too impressed with Fossilman, he seems overrated". Now, however, with the sheer number of players, I don't think I have a real shot any more, if indeed I ever had one.

Ironically, as I approach my 7th or 8th year of pooker exploits (including time off), and approach the magical 10th year soon (in which is supposedly gained World Class status), I realise I am content to simply make my money $1000 to $2000 dollars at a time, skimming the cream off of the sweet nectar of single-table satellites.

So I sat down at the first satellite table and about an hour in not playing much, I busted out when my AQo runs into A9o which turns into a straight on the river. I wasn't upset, in fact, it's curious how quickly the groove slipped back on. I haven't played a single hand of cash poker for essentially 15 months, and here I was, playing well, alert and attentive and intuitive within 10 minutes of sitting down.

I promptly sat down at another table and started playing again. With some maneuvers and a KK hand, I easily passed the first hour in great shape, but very low on chips. I've always played deep in almost any tournament, which may be a bad thing or a good thing, depending on when I make my moves toward the end. I could probably shorten my average depth of play but make more earnings if I boosted my chip count more often, but I'll get there eventually.

So, after the first hour, we get down to five players (from the initial 10), including a fairly decent player to my immediate right, a complete fish across from me, and two others. At a key point UTG, I look down to see AA, and I raise. Fish goes all in, all fold, I call. He has QQ. An unfortunate queen on the flop gives him all my chips except 3 greens (75). Fortunately, or unfortunately, the blinds are 100. My next hand is the big blind, so I post short. Four people see the flop (woohoo to quadruple up), and check the pot down to the end. Amazingly, I turn over my cards, 88, and it's good! I think Fish had a King-high for the side pot.

Next hand in the small blind, all fold around, I see AJo, I go all in against the big blind and he calls. He turns over K9o, my unimproved hand wins. I essentially go all-in or steal some more hands to move up to average stack again. After a few more levels, we're down to three players, just the Fish, Decent Guy, and I. I am now small stack again, and I go all-in with AQo. Both players call, easily covering me. The flop comes out with a raggedy rainbow, and the Fish (amazingly to me), bets the pot against the Decent Guy. Decent player guy flips his top. He starts yelling at the fish, "You better have a good hand, I can't believe you bet me out of the pot, we can get rid of this player and you're pushing me off the hand." Etc.

Fish turns over King-high, my AQ wins. Now the Decent player guy who is demoted to Decent-player-who-is-over-emotional-and-won't-progress-until-he-can-handle-himself-better starts really chewing in on the fish. He's yelling practically, continuing into the next hand about how bad the play was. The dealer, trying to break the tension, turns to me and says, "You don't mind the play, do you?" and I smile and say no. I pretend like I don't even know why he should be upset. "Fish could have won the pot," I say, not using the name "fish" but instead referring to the player. Inside, I'm thinking, "Don't educate the motherfucking fish you motherfucking twitter headed motherfucking motherfucker and shut your mouth now."

The Decent-but-emotional-guy then calms down about three hands later and apologises. The dealer then says, "I've seen all kinds of plays and players. Everyone can do what they feel is best. I recognise you and the other guy," referring to the guy formerly sitting to the right of Decent Player Guy. Then, horror of horrors, the dealer turns to me and says, "And I recognise you too." Cold ice hit my anus and I tried to smile weakly. Internally I said, "Dealers should speak only when A) action is to be called or B) when fucking spoken to, asshole."

A few levels later, I was able to bust out Fish and so it was heads-up betwixt me and Decent player guy. He had about a 4-1 chip lead on me. I have a rule that I don't offer deals, but I will gladly accept them (even if I am chip leader, or I should say, ESPECIALLY if I am chip leader -- heads-up can go either way and you have great negotiation leverage), but Decent guy didn't offer.

The first hand I raised as the button and he folded. Second hand, he limped, I raised, he folded. Third hand, I raised, he folded. This guy wasn't very good heads up. Fourth hand, he raised all-in. I saw K6o, called immediately and showed my junk. I was pretty certain this guy wouldn't raise all-in with a premium hand. He immediately started bitching, much to my joy, because it meant I was ahead. "How could you call that, with King-high? Oh man, I can't believe that. How can you call that?" He proceeded to flip over an equally worthless J5o.

The hand held up and now I was a 8-1 chip leader. We went all-in about four times with 1 chop, and three double-ups before he lost. He left in shame. I tipped the dealer and sold my tourney chips for continued action...