Olympic update
I've been paying attention to the winter Olympics more than any reasonable person should. Here are some of my favourite highlights:
Opening ceremony. The opening ceremony was a disorganised, horrific, and unwatchable mess. Worse yet, it was more boring than the Academy Awards®. I watched it via satellite on east-coast time. I went to bed at a reasonable time, 21:30. I then discussed the opening ceremony with some friends. They complained about not being able to stay up until midnight! Most of the people I know fell asleep and never saw the lighting of the Olympic flame.
Lighting of the Olympic flame. Speaking of which, the lighting was unspectacular and completely fake. Yes, I know, the archer who shot a flaming arrow at Salt Lake didn't actually ignite the actual flame. But it was damned cool. Torino's lighing was "I'll pretned to light this piece of metal, and then some 5¢ sparklers will ignite. That looks really cool."
Fuck the Italians. Enough said. I hate these bitches, but not as much as the French.
Bode Miller and hype. Bode Miller is the essence of ugly Americanism. So cool that we can spout of our mouths and brag, but unable to lay down actual tracks when the time comes. Big talk, big swagger, no results -- worse, utter failure. Sounds like W. Bush, in a way.
Skating and Michelle Kwan the Cunt. Biatch, I wrote about you earlier. Your sorry ass shouldn't have been on the plane to Italy in the first place. Shut your pie hole and stop those crocodile tears and go back to your fucking mama. You can't win shit and never did. So shut the fucking hell up already.
Pair's ice skating. Few things are more boring and shitty than the pair's skating. There are too many things to watch with two people on the ice. I can't see both jumps, and I don't appreciate "death spiral" (oooooo, scary) or "grab my leg, I'll grab yours". I love watching the skaters fall, but not if they get hurt terribly. I'm not a sadist, after all. So when the chinese woman fell on her knee, I knew that hurt but she seemed fine. I wasn't too impressed. I've hit my knee where your whole leg goes numb and you can't move. It wears off in about 60 seconds, so just walk it off. Keep going. But you're not some super human or some kind of hero.
Girl's Snowboarding. First, the snowboarding outfits look absolutely ridiculous and laughable. But, I thought the girls did a good job. They still have that "frat girl" attitude, and I'm sure they might be somewhat enjoyable (though disposable) in bed. But I still think it promotes the ugliness and ego-centricity of the Americans.
Fuck the Americans. Enough said. But I hate France even more.
Opening ceremony. The opening ceremony was a disorganised, horrific, and unwatchable mess. Worse yet, it was more boring than the Academy Awards®. I watched it via satellite on east-coast time. I went to bed at a reasonable time, 21:30. I then discussed the opening ceremony with some friends. They complained about not being able to stay up until midnight! Most of the people I know fell asleep and never saw the lighting of the Olympic flame.
Lighting of the Olympic flame. Speaking of which, the lighting was unspectacular and completely fake. Yes, I know, the archer who shot a flaming arrow at Salt Lake didn't actually ignite the actual flame. But it was damned cool. Torino's lighing was "I'll pretned to light this piece of metal, and then some 5¢ sparklers will ignite. That looks really cool."
Fuck the Italians. Enough said. I hate these bitches, but not as much as the French.
Bode Miller and hype. Bode Miller is the essence of ugly Americanism. So cool that we can spout of our mouths and brag, but unable to lay down actual tracks when the time comes. Big talk, big swagger, no results -- worse, utter failure. Sounds like W. Bush, in a way.
Skating and Michelle Kwan the Cunt. Biatch, I wrote about you earlier. Your sorry ass shouldn't have been on the plane to Italy in the first place. Shut your pie hole and stop those crocodile tears and go back to your fucking mama. You can't win shit and never did. So shut the fucking hell up already.
Pair's ice skating. Few things are more boring and shitty than the pair's skating. There are too many things to watch with two people on the ice. I can't see both jumps, and I don't appreciate "death spiral" (oooooo, scary) or "grab my leg, I'll grab yours". I love watching the skaters fall, but not if they get hurt terribly. I'm not a sadist, after all. So when the chinese woman fell on her knee, I knew that hurt but she seemed fine. I wasn't too impressed. I've hit my knee where your whole leg goes numb and you can't move. It wears off in about 60 seconds, so just walk it off. Keep going. But you're not some super human or some kind of hero.
Girl's Snowboarding. First, the snowboarding outfits look absolutely ridiculous and laughable. But, I thought the girls did a good job. They still have that "frat girl" attitude, and I'm sure they might be somewhat enjoyable (though disposable) in bed. But I still think it promotes the ugliness and ego-centricity of the Americans.
Fuck the Americans. Enough said. But I hate France even more.
posted by T. Pascal | 9:35 AM
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