Rookie mistakes and how to make them

We've all been there, I think. You do something that is totally stupid and braindead and everyone is looking at you like, "What the f.....?" And you say, "You know, I meant to do that." If you know what NIS+ is, congratulations. If not, just think "Solaris login account database".

Scene 1: interior, work office, worker typing at computer keyboard.

Type type type. Subtitle: "Setting up NIS+ server on a development server for new Solaris cluster."

Type type type. Ring, ring.

Worker: "Hello? You need help with that now? OK, I'll be down."

Exuent.

Scene 2: interior, work office, twenty minutes later.

Entrance stage right, worker.

Worker: "Ah, where were we?"

Worker sits down.

Type type. Type? Type type type. Type? Type?!

Worker: "Who the f?&%&$ set this piece of s&%*#)$ up? Whoever did this has no f*&$&#@)@) idea how to set up NIS+."

Type. Type. Delete. Delete. Delete.

Worker: "Much better. Now, start from scratch."

Type. Type. Ring ring.

Worker: "Who's calling now? I'm busy."

Type. Ring. Ring. Type....

Type....

Worker: "I got kicked out. That's strange. Why can't I log in to the main system any more?"

Ring. Ring.

Worker: "Why is my phone ringing?"

Worker (stage whisper to audience): "I can't answer that now, I've already stopped this project once to help someone else. If I leave in the middle of a project, I might forget where I am and make a mistake."

Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

Worker: "I wonder why both of my lines are ringing now? Why won't they leave me alone?"

Type... Type? Type?

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Worker: "Why is the text pager system alerting me to NIS+ problems on the live server?"

Type... Backspacebackspacebackspace. Typetypetypetype...

Worker: "ooooooooooops...."

Ring. Ring RING RINGBEEPRINGRINGBEEPRINGRING....

Fade to silence, freeze. Rod Sirling approaches from stage rear into a spotlight.

Sirling takes a long, sweet drag on silky, smooth tobacco smoke.

Sirling: "As you have just seen, you should always pay attention to the stop signs and warning lights that flash as you drive through life. Always practise mindfullness and be immersed in the present moment. Whether you are an experienced professional or rank amateur, your next step could be into that dark dank dungeon we call... the You Fucked Up and You Better Have Some Backup Tapes Handy Zone."

Fade to black.